How We Lose Respect Using Emotional Decision-Making
We want others to take us seriously, to show us respect and to listen to us. How can we make that happen? Why isn’t it happening? I think that when others see that we allow our emotions rather than our logic to make our decisions, this causes them to loose confidence in what we say. There needs to be a balance between emotions and logic.
I heard an example the other day of a husband who said that when his wife, after walking by a pet store window, makes an emotional suggestion like let’s get a puppy, he is not likely to take her seriously. But rather if she comes to him with a thought out plan and shows him she is aware of the changes a puppy will bring and how this will effect their lives together than he is more likely to listen.
The point is that people are less likely to listen if they think that the emotion will pass and then the decision no longer seems like a good one.
We have many emotions that can influence our decisions. For example, excitement can cause us to underestimate the risk involved. This can happen in financial decisions. Anxiety, embarrassment and sadness can also direct our choices. We may be anxious or depressed about something in our lives and this feeling causes us to be resistant to taking any risk at all. We may want to avoid embarrassment so we change our behavior to protect against this.
A very powerful emotion that we can all relate to is anger. We have all reacted in anger and then done something that hurts either ourselves or someone else. It would be better to take time to calm down and think things through before deciding on a plan of action.
When you communicate a concern or desire to someone they will respect your view if they think you are going to stick to it and if they know that you have thought it through.
This is an important point, are you going to follow through? Can they count on you or are you only talking? When I know that the person making a suggestion is going to support their idea by taking action this also makes me respect them more. I can count on them to follow through, they are not only talk.
Impulsive or emotional decision can affect our relationships, finances, health, career and how we use our time.
We make the best decisions when we can achieve a balance between emotions and logic. When your emotions run too high, your logic will be low, which can lead to irrational decisions: and if you have a history of irrational decisions then others will not take you seriously or show you respect.
It is not easy to change patterns of behavior. If you need help and support, give us a call at 562-537-2947.
Written by Lisa Strong