What a year, many of you are spending a lot of time with your partner, as well as handling external pressures such as money concerns, possible job loss, maybe parenting stress and of course the fear of catching the virus. How are you holding up?

With the end of the year in sight some of us might reflect on what this year has meant to themselves and to their relationship. Some of you are re-assessing what is important and learning more about how you as a couple handle challenges.

When I say that some of you are re-assessing what is important, I mean you are questioning how things were done before and what is important to you now. Asking questions like… 

• Why was I willing to spend so much time driving to work? 
• Why do we live where we do?
• Why do I spend so much money on things and clothes? 
• What do I really get my enjoyment from? 
• Who is important to me? 
• How do I want to spend my time?

That is a lot to think about and without life’s usual distractions and hurried schedule many of you are taking the time to think about these things. When you do ponder these questions you may find that you and your partner do not always come to the same conclusions. I suggest that you continue to discuss your new ideas but be slow to make any big changes. 

Each of you in the relationship are processing these challenges differently and may be answering questions differently. This time of Covid is so unusual. Life is very different than anything we expected and when our expectations do not come to fruition this can bring challenges to any relationship. 

I suggest that you make time to listen to each other. Remember that your views are evolving so don’t get to adamant about anything but stay curious and open. Like I said don’t make any life changing decisions if you can avoid them. Your outlook may change in 6 months. 

Continue to ask questions and try to listen without judgement and fear of the unknown. There is always new things to learn about your partner, their ideas, their concerns and fears. It may expose some things that are positive and some negative but we are always learning and this can better our relationship. Remember to be patient with each other, walk lightly and be forgiving. 

This period of history is different than any we have seen in our lives. I ask that you remember the things you love about each other and look to support each other through this time. It can be scary, challenging and frustrating but having a partner to go through this with can bring support and encouragement. I hope you can be your best for each other. 

If you need any help, just call me at 562-260-4796

Written by Lisa Strong