How Positive Words Can Strengthen Your Marriage

“Marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life!” 

“I told God that I’d rather be dead than stay married to you!” 

“I’m absolutely certain that I married the wrong person.” 

“Come back here and fight me like a man, you chicken!” 

“To be completely honest, I’ve lost my feelings for you.”

Words have the power to start wars, scar hearts, lacerate a person’s soul, create enemies and incite fear. Our words can actually damage a person’s identity for life. That’s how powerful words are!  Believe me.  And if we aren’t careful with our language, we can destroy our marriage.  

I understand that sometimes we use negative words with the intention of motivating the other person to step up, to get their attention and to convey how hurt and disappointed we are.  But it’s important to understand, really wrap your head around, that this may bring momentary change but it will not bring a change of heart, the kind of change you are looking for.  

“I can see this is hard for you but I also see the effort you are making.”

“I appreciate what you are doing for our family.”

“You look nice today.”

“I know we will work through this hard time as long as we stick together.”

These are the words that will actually bring real, lasting change.  These are the words that will motivate your spouse, cause them to listen and to keep trying.  I hear some couples say that they are afraid to say anything nice to their spouse because they are afraid it will lead their spouse to believe that everything in their marriage is going ok and that all the pain and resentment have been resolved.  This isn’t usually the case.  If you truly want your marriage to turn a corner, become more enjoyable and you really want your partner as your lover and your best friend you have to build them up.  There is no other way around it.  

I understand that this sounds simple but it’s not easy.  I am always here to help.  Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have questions!  Give us a call at (562) 537-2947.  

Written by Lisa Smith


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