How Can You Get Your Relationship Out of the Rut?

How Can You Get Your Relationship Out of the Rut?

Sometimes we get in a rut, we get busy with life and we neglect our relationships. The fact is that a good relationship takes effort to achieve. You have to put some work in to get the results you want. If you are feeling like you are in a rut it probably means that you don’t know how to get out. Well I see two areas of concern, you and your partner. This may seem obvious but let me explain.

Start by looking at yourself, not at your partner, and thinking about what you need to do. If you don’t feel good about who you are or what you can offer then your partner will sense this. You want to strengthen yourself and this will strengthen your marriage.

Do you need to take better care of yourself or have a more balanced life? If you are grouchy or depressed then you will not make a good partner. Don’t point the finger at your partner, you are ultimately responsible for your own well being. What can you do to improve? Do you need to change jobs, change your schedule or change how you care for yourself? It’s not helpful to be resentful of something and stuff your feelings about it. You may think that is what you are supposed to do in order to keep the peace but I find it is more helpful to talk to your partner and explain how you feel and what you need. Then see if you can come to an arrangement that can be a win/win for each of you.

Taking care of yourself is important because if you don’t feel good about who you are then you will not convey a confidence and inner joy that is attractive to your partner. But maybe you can also change something that you know bothers your partner. Think about what you can do to make your partner happy. Do you continually walk by the kitchen trash when it is full instead of taking it out? If you continually do something that you know bothers them then that is not a way to show you care about them and their feelings. If you know your partner loves it when you make them a cup of coffee in the morning then why don’t you do that? It is a simple thing that can make your partner happy and feel cared for. They will take notice.

So taking care of your own needs can improve your relationship because you will be a happier person and therefore more attractive to your partner but you also need to be concerned about your partners needs and what makes them feel loved. This may seem like a tall order but if you can sit down and talk to your partner about this and they can see you want to improve the relationship so you both can be happier then your partner may want to support this idea.

If you need help with sharing your ideas and concerns with your partner or you need ideas of how to lift yourself out of the rut then give us a call. We would love to support you in improving your relationship.Give us a call at (562) 537-2947.

Written by Lisa Strong

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