5 Top Reasons Couples Seek Relationship Help

If you are struggling in your relationship, you are not alone. Others are struggling with similar frustrations and don’t know what to do, how to move past this painful time. It is stressful to feel like you really don’t want to walk through your front door because you have lost that connection with your partner. I understand this feeling and frustration and I am able to help. Listed below are the top 5 reasons couples feel this way and seek help in their relationship.

1. You feel like your partner is an adversary not a teammate. When you get married you have the hope that your partner will be your greatest support, someone you turn to when you are struggling, someone who has your back and cares about your hurt. But now you may feel more like your partner is the one you have to battle, nothing comes easy, they have to be convinced and pushed to be on your side.
2. Your relationship feels more like a business relationship or roommate situation, not a marriage.You function together, things get done, kids go to school, you go to work, dinner is made and the lawn is mowed but what happened to the emotional connection, the intimacy, not just sexually but also feeling like your partner knows you well and loves you.
3. You can’t talk about what is important to you. When you bring up a conversation and you want your partner to listen and show understanding instead you feel like you are in a debate, you are challenged before you are heard. You can’t get the idea across without stress and frustration. You may feel like it is too painful to bring things up so you just avoid talking, it is always negative.
4. One or both of you becomes spiteful and hurtful. You feel like they are being unreasonable and finding ways to be difficult. This may be because they are feeling resentment, disappointment and frustration and being difficult is how they are dealing with these feelings. They are lashing out, showing you their hurt but not in a healthy way.

5. You have lost the connection of feeling respected or appreciated by your partner. Where did the connection go. When dating one of the things that draws couples together is they feel like their partner gets them, cares about them, meets their needs and builds them up with respect and care. When this is no longer happening you feel alone and the connection is missing.

One of the underlying causes of these things is a lack of healthy communication. You don’t know how to express your concerns in a way that your partner can hear them without getting defensive and challenging you. You want your partner to respond with understanding and care but instead somehow you push their buttons and they get defensive and angry instead. Each of you is struggling to be heard, respected and considered but that is not happening.

Don’t give up hope, these skills can be learned and if you and your partner are motivated to break this cycle, it can happen. Make a change and give us a call at (562) 537-2947, there is no obligation and we would love to hear from you.

Written by Lisa Strong

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